How do you take a journey through grief? Do you take it knowing that there will eventually be a day in which you wake up and the whole world is a better place? Or do you just drag yourself a day at a time, waiting for you own judgement day? I wonder, how do you take a journey through this unbearable, unexplainable grief? Do you start questioning all that you ever believed in? And, do you lose faith in the process? It is extremely difficult to be in a position I never imagined I would be in. How do I explain all this? Words are insufficient. Maybe a day will come in which it will all make perfect sense. But, will I hold on till that day? I guess that's an answer I myself will never know.
Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must
take care of what has been
given. Brush her hair, help her
into her little coat, hold her hand,
especially when crossing a street. For, think,
what if you should lose her? Then you would be
sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness
would be yours. Take care, touch
her forehead that she feel herself not so
utterly alone. And smile, that she does not
altogether forget the world before the lesson.
Have patience in abundance. And do not
ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment
by herself, which is to say, possibly, again,
abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult,
sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child.
And amazing things can happen. And you may see,
as the two of you go
walking together in the morning light, how
little by little she relaxes; she looks about her;
she begins to grow.