Sunday, April 19, 2015

I miss you.

Hey there. I know we have not been speaking in a while. But, I wanted to let you know that I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I just...I guess I wanted to say something. After all the silence and pushing away memories, I wanted to say something. Here it goes. I miss you.
Not I regret what happened or I want you. Just, I miss you. I miss you not in the sense that I wish things were different or I crave your presence in my life. I miss you in the way that your name looked in my phone. I miss you not in the sense that I want you back in my life or that I want to be in yours. I miss you in the stupid, random jokes you made that made me laugh. I miss you not in the way that you cross my mind every single day. I miss you in the way that when you do cross my mind occasionally, I remember all the little things about you. The pointless conversations and the deeper ones. Some that made me think how lucky I was and some that questioned why I stayed. I miss the path I walked with you...the view I had, how everything was sunny and beautiful for me. Now I know that we both may have walked the same path but we saw different things.
It is so funny to think that someone I knew so well is now a total stranger to me. That sometimes I go weeks without thinking of you. Do you? Part of me wants you again. But I remember what it took for me to let go. And I push away those thoughts.
So, I miss you. And, that's good. That means I had something worth thinking about. Worth talking about. Worth remembering. It means one day when I find something worth keeping, I would know how it feels. I guess I needed to say this, I miss knowing you.