A leader of the pack

I know that all of us(my Macbeth crew) is upset over what had happened..I got lost when that person asked me to comment on my fellow actors coz i thought they did a very good job..well, at least you shud have paid attention to them before criticising...anyway, i know that what had happened is going to pull our spirits down and im not going to let anyone hurt my crew...whatever it is, i know that if i stay strong the rest will soon find that strength in them to do the same as well...im not saying im a good director(hell, im not even sure if i am one!) but I know that i want this to work out well and im going to do everything i can to make it work...we'll laugh, we'll cry(though i m trying my best not to do so)..but at the end of the day, we are one...and thats all that matters!

Upset

I know that i should never allow people to hurt me..but I can only watch as it happens again. I know im in power and sometimes that power hurts i guess. Nevertheless, I'm promising myself to be patient..as much as i can. It hurts badly and I have no idea where to vent out what i feel. Do not cry, I instruct my eyes but its failing me.....

Sometimes when something new arises, everything old makes it worse. Im honestly strong and I know that. Its just that i feel lost.............

What a day!

Alright i know that it is only 1.47 p.m and I have already started complaining..yes, it has been a rough morning(too much of Macbeth i guess :))..anyway, i am currently at my beloved queen's room a.k.a bul bul..she is fast asleep while im busy typing away...well not so busy...i decided to not return to my room(block 5) coz i know i'll be too lazy to turn up for the ELS meeting later on at 2.30 p.m..hence, i dropped by at block 3..

Anyway, let me tell you what happened today morning...just as i was getting ready, all hyped and psyched for class...a tragedy struck..my spectacles broke! one of the lenses fell out! so, i have been walking around IPBA today without glasses n yes it has been a blurry sight...reminds me of Posh's dialogue for our choral speaking..."I cant see clearly..everything is blurring!"...that's how it is for me! Nevertheless, my new mantra is..EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! Hence, i am sure that there is a goodness behind this disaster...lets just wait and see what happens..

Macbeth is all i think about..I seriously, honestly one to make this work..i am the director of the play and I am happy to lead..takes my mind of certain things that has happened recently..anyway, i have a bunch of wonderful people working with me...so, no worries! I really want ACT 2 to turn out so well that we will receive the highest from of praises from everyone(i know it sounds like a dream..but hey..dreams do come true at times!)

Well, whatever it is..no matter how bad of a situation i get entangled in, i know that there is always someone else out there in a much worse situation than the one that i am in....hence, life sucks..it is cruel..but i am going to show how smart i am to the life that treated me foolishly!

Saturday!

I can't even begin to tell u how annoyed i am! It is a Saturday and i should so be at home! I love my kids too much n my weekends are special to me! I am currently seated ever so comfortably(connotative) in my LDV class and listening to my friends present their findings. As i went yesterday(semi prepared), i am much more relaxed!

-holding on-

Today started and ended just as how my horoscope predicted it to be. I had my Learning Support class today in which i manage to escape from giving a speech(grinning), but there is still next week. Hence, i am going to be more prepared for my prepared speech(as if!).

However i wasn't too lucky for Language Development and I had to present without much practice. How do I feel?? Well, i don't know. I so did not expect them to squirm with discomfort. Since, when sex became such a taboo issue in college? There were people who presented on pre-marital sex and they did not receive the faces i got and my topic wasn't even sexually assaultive to listeners! It was just cervical cancer. Yes, cervical cancer has a lot to do with sex and probably thats why they did not like listening to such a fact! Well, I really liked that the boys actually paid attention! And one of the lecturers told me that i should have been in the medical faculty. My reaction? A smile. I know that I would have killed my patients with my love! Yes, i am very much a sensitive human being!

Our practice for the Macbeth play is going on quite well and I really do appreciate all my actors, technicians,prompters,exhibition team, costume department and my lovely props people. Everyone is working hard and we hope to make it.

Well, no matter how stupid life gets, I'm going to show it how smart I am. I am a princess at heart and that's the way things are!

-A rather "loud" life-

Its been quite some time now that I have tried ever so hardly to spin my life around, to pull myself up, and to just be the best i can. I decided to start this year in a rather quiet manner. However, obviously GOD had different plans for me. I wouldnt say im having a rather "loud" life, its just not a quiet one. How do I feel? I honestly don't know. People have seen me crying my heart out last year for trivial matters.To think about it now, it was silly wasn't it? To cry for someone that obviously didn't want you. But, I've told myself to let bygones be bygones because life moves on no matter what happens!

Another day!

I am pretty much busy and I absolutely love my life to be as such. I work better under pressure and in fact I enjoy being busy. Although I have nervous breakdowns(like what happened today), I know I will make it somehow. You may call it confidence, but I can assure you it is beyond that. I believe in myself and I am never going to let myself down because I love myself too much to watch myself fail.

As of today, we had the first full rehearsal for our Macbeth play. Yes, I had an extreme case of nervous breakdown right before our turn and all throughout Act 2, but my boys and girls made me proud.

I love all of them, all my boys and girls from FP2.5 and FP2.6. They rocked the stage! I know there is still room for improvement but I am extremely happy. My target for today was to just make it somehow. However, we received praises! So, we did more than we thought we could! I love every one of them(going a little overboard here). Right from my backstage crews to my actors, they did their best! Yes, we are going to do more! I hope to blow of the audience next!

Literally jumping with excitement,

ur darling princess!

-Macbeth n me-

Honestly, I want this play to work out..i want us, FP 2.5 and FP 2.6 to receive the highest form of praises from everyone..probably that's why i did not bud out right after completing my part, that is as the scriptwriter. I want ACT 2 to turn out well... I know i have a bunch of people that truly amazes me. They can act..i mean really act..they listen n learn from their mistakes..which is a quality i truly admire.. I know i can count on them...they will make me proud!

-Confused-

Its very hard to explain to people how i feel...i do not know why but im finding it very hard to open up..i have so many things in my chest that i can only wish to splutter out....i miss the way my life was yet i appreciate the new one that i have..i m very strong though i appear to be vulnerable...i have been through things that are beyond your wildest dreams..i m no more the girl next door..i m pretty tough..i know that everything happens for a reason..i m just trying to figure out the reason...