-Falling in love-

Ok Raevarthy! You have to stop! You know you have to! It's about time! Stop opening up Youtube and stop hearing to love songs! Smack yourself if you do so! Its just a stupid crush girl! Get over it!!! You know you he doesn't care of you so stop imagining of what life would be with him around! Got it? You have to stop! Enough of those mushy Love songs before dozing off to bed and enough of those sweet romantic novels! You don't need love! You need luck! And lots of it to survive this last few days in IPBA! Stop being jealous of all those couples you see around you! He is so far away..miles apart..and who knows what he is dong there! Stop it! You don't need him!

PS: What happens when your mind adamantly says no and your heart explodingly says yes?

-Trying to strike a balance here-

-Missing you all over again-

I should not be here, i tell myself and I know I am lieing. I should not blog about how I really feel. I know I should not feel this way and I know it is ridiculous for me to miss you. But, I can't stop myself from doing so. I want you out of my life and yet I can't find the strength to throw you away. Fine, I'd admit it. All I wish for is to be with you. I am jealous of them, yes I am. I want an everlasting affection. I want to hold hands and walk through the rain and I want you to buy me gifts and wipe away my tears. I want you to call me for no reason. It is not selfish of me! I am just a girl after all...I know you would eventually end up with someone, but why should that person not be me? I am tired of feeling worthless of love! I am tired of people telling me my time would come! Why can't it be now? And, my darling prince charming, whoever you are, why can't you woe me now?

PS: Maybe I am really going senile due to stress!

Mental note to myself: Go to sleep Raevarthy! You are starting to crap!

N dear faithful readers, do you think I'd ever find a prince?

-Me as Fatin-

Im finally done with the did-not-want-to-but-ended-up-doing-it skit! You can guess how I feel. I am so happy that I could just fly! Seriously, I did not anticipate for it to be this hectic. Lets start, from the top.

You never know how much an incident can teach you and you can never guess how much you would learn from an experience. I have learnt mine.

"Needless to say, life isn't all about what you want. It is sometimes about what you don't want and you have to deal with it".

(Raevarthy, 2010)

As for my cast and crew of this skit, thank u so much! Indeed it was a pleasure working with you guys! A special thanks and lots of hugs to Julia from the KPLSPM group. She was a lifesaver! We owe you one girl! N as for Posh, thanks for the last-minute willingness to replace me. I owe you one too.

PS: The name is still Raevarthy ya..not Chapathi!

-Another dimension-

Hurt and crushed with his words. Nothing more or else to say.

Ps: Is life all about snatching something that was yours?

-Hols, Part 4-

Isn't there always a moment in our lives in which you wish you had the power to freeze time or go back to change the past? Haven't we all been through that phase in which nothing ever matters anymore and all you can wish for is to be vanished from this Earth? Maybe I don't belong here. I don't know. Maybe I do. I don't know either. Perhaps, I don't preach what I say. Perhaps I am all negative and there is nothing positive to me. Maybe it is time I went for real. Somewhere, far, deep down the ocean or far above the skies. Somewhere in which love holds much power and is something real. Maybe this world has too much remorse and hatred in it. Maybe we all need a new world. Does a place with such peace exist?

PS: If only I had the strength......

-Hols, Part 3-

Can you believe it that hols are almost ending? I know I don't want to go back to that world, that mean world that is packed with horrible people. Alright fine, I admit it. I am exaggerating and it isn't so bad. But, trust me hon, IPBA is cruel in its own way.

Anyway, even as I type this out, I am not entirely prepared to board my way back. I wish I had more time. I wish I can go back to the 3rd(which now seems to be a million years ago). But, hey, we all know that it is impossible and hence we should take a deep breath and move on with life, no matter how tough it gets.(I say this often, but really, i do not believe it so much).

I had big plans of meeting up with my friends, going out just to have fun, and you know what, it just didn't happen! And I have one person to blame! It still hurts that I am here venting out my anger whne I should be taking Sunway Pyramid down in a storm! I planned it all and I had to cancel!(still so damn angry!)

PS: Seriously, is fate not on my side?

-Hols, Part 2-

Im about to crash into my pillow just coz i hate the way things ended tonight! Have I mentioned how much I hate people that do not keep their words??Let me tell u again, a million trillion times(if that exist). I hold a simple believe. Once you promise someone, you have to keep to your words. That is not so hard to understand or follow through right? But, I guess certain people get everything in life(and in that, I may add unfairly), while u just crash and burn in a corner. Now, don't I hate it when that happens!

PS: Not in a good mood just coz someone decided to put me there!

-Hols, The first part-

Yeay! I am officialy on break and that's probably why you havent seen me here often. Well, what can I say, I just love being at home and hence, perhaps I have thrown away the sad aspect of me..(just kidding, you know me better)..anyway, this hols has been a little bit tiring for me as I have to fight for the car, fight for love, fight for attention, fight to keep my clothes...yeah..u guessed right..MISS LOSINE is back! Oh, dont I just love the fact that she is back...I get to escape from the relative drama that goes on just coz she substitutes my place. Love you for that Oshy!

I started this hols with a bit of a frustration coz the last week at ipba was hectic! And, when i say hectic, i mean super hectic! But, hey i survived!*claps wildly*

Anyway, I have decided to go out and mingle. Maybe it is time I made the effort to keep in touch with all my old buddies. They were always there for me right? So, let us start, with one at a time(never really liked to go out in large groups)..I am just wondering which one to start with..Errmm..thats a tough choice! Ill figure it out eventually, i suppose..i always do..

Ps: My heart rate has increased dramatically and only you know why!:)

-Torn in the inside-

I guess you are going to find me very often here in my blog as only this virtual world of mine provides the solitude and care that I yearn for. How is it that at one moment I feel that my life is so perfect and at the next I find myself in a loophole just waiting for it to swallow me up. I hate to sound as though I am having a depressed life coz I know some people love to see me crumble and drop and that is not how I ever want to be like. Too many things at once I guess. Having someone new in my life ain't gonna change the way things are. I am not melodramatic but I am sensitive.

I have opinions of my own that I stick up to and that does not make me a *****.

There are little things that I can tolerate and there are things that I can't. My pain starts the moment my life steps out of the boundaries of family, class and work.

PS: Was it wrong for me to come to IPBA?