Thursday, March 21, 2013

Why do bad things happen to good people?

For years there is this one doubt in me. The one unanswered question that I find myself asking often. It started about 3 years ago and I still find myself looking at the night sky, holding the gaze of those shiny bright stars questioning them. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Anyone wanna answer that for me?
Of course typical answers which I have heard sounds like this:
That's coz God loves testing good people. God will test those that he love but never give up on them where else HE would always give up on bad people.
Cliche enough? Thing is, that just doesn't make sense to me. Why would God do that? And I am compelled to ask, regardless of how strong my faith is, or anything, since when God played with the lives of people? Doesn't make sense right?
So why is it that bad things happen to good people? There are people out there carrying a million baggage of sins a day and yet nothing happens to them. And then there are people who strive to make life a better place for others and yet they are the ones that face the most trouble out of life. I just don't get it.
Life is just this funny little game that we are all playing and I have no idea what the rules are any longer.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Falling in love with love itself-The rules to falling in love!

Familiar phrase if you have been single for about…let’s see, your whole life? Ookay, I get it. You guys are going, “there she goes again with the whole thing on falling in love”. Well, I can never be sorry for being in love with love. So today, while I am here in class with a presentation going on, I am stealing some time to tell you about the rules to falling in love. Might be right might be wrong. Please do argue with me, I like being challenged. *big wide grin*

Rules to falling in love:

1) Love is not blind, it needs glasses. Never be blinded with the way a person looks, talks, or is. Love is what that happens when you don’t know how to explain why you feel the way you feel towards that one person.

2) Yes, you can fall for a person that is taken. But, you are not allowed to act on that feelings. Respect the other guy or girl involved. If he/she is meant for you, they would eventually return to you.

3) Flirting is for the singles. If you are taken, quit flirting and if you wanna flirt, stay single. Simple concept.

4) People change and feelings mature. So, who you are with today will not be the same person in lets say, a month, a year or even 50 years! Deal with this one fact and you are looking at a long term relationship, trust me.

5) Never ever rush. If you meet someone and you like them, stay friends first. Most people act on impulse and that can seriously go wrong.

6) Never say yes to someone just because you are tired of being alone. Sure, having someone by your side is fun and nice, but having someone you never saw as someone by your side, is a torture to the soul.

7) They say opposites attract. Yes, they do. But that only applies to magnets. Leave the opposites attract thing to magnets. As for humans, no matter how attracted you are to a person, when someone’s life principles and attitudes clash with yours, there is just that much that you can tolerate and stand. People with similar principles last longer.

8) Know the limitations of love. Never ever assume that this beautiful girl or amazing man will be there for you forever. Always remember that this person never belonged to you. You are loaning them from the universe for a span of time and shall return them when the time arrives. Some are returned earlier and some are returned through death.

9) You will always remember your first love. This is a fact that everyone has to come to terms with. I have seen relationships crumble just because she doesn't want to accept the fact that he still talks about his past love or just because she compares him to his past love. Well people, let me break it down to you. Just because a person talks about something that has happened in his/her past, it does not mean that that person is not over their past. Remembering what has happened keeps us humans sane. 

10) You deserve to have someone treat you the way you have always wanted to be treated. Like a princess? A queen perhaps? Like the only man around? Well, problem is, often we settle for far less than what we deserve because we are tired of waiting. Patience is power, let me remind you of that. 

11) This is an important one. Love doesn't hurt and love is not abusive. Staying with an abusive partner, regardless of whether it's a physical, or emotional abuse, is just downright wrong. Love is about being happy, even through rough times. 

Well, people, I seriously can go on and on when it comes to love. I might have not met the right man yet or I just might not have been looking, but either way, I think love is something just too beautiful to be missed in life. Never let a past experience shut you away from love. Open your hearts, get to know the people around you and let love find you. After all, our hearts can seriously do wonders if we just let it to. Oh ya, and, finally, if at all, you never meet anyone special, whoever says that you can't live the single life? More reasons to flirt then! :D

Signing off in a happy note,

Monday, March 4, 2013

Written from the core of my heart.

I love myself enough to know that I am wounded. I love myself enough to know that I am broken into pieces and I love myself enough to know that the one responsible for my healing is not around. I am shaken with reality and I do not know where to turn to. Funny how the girl who has a shoulder for people to lean on finds herself with none to call her own. Reality is cruel, that much I dare say. 
These emotions and regrets that haunt me when I least expect it to is turning me into a slave of my own conscience. Remember how people say that when nothing goes right, you have to turn left? What if I turn left and there is nothing there for me too? I am afraid. I am terrified. 
It is a long battle, one that I know I can survive if I have my heart and soul set at the right place. But what about my win? What about that then. I am a competitive person by nature but not to the extent of losing relationships so what if I lose myself in this crave for victory? 
I am battling a million demons in myself a day. Sometimes these demons have a voice. That cruel, earth shattering voice that blocks me out of this world. I don't know how to fight that off. I don't know. 
On the outside, I am this girl with a bright smile and positive attitude and on the inside, I die a little more with each passing day. At times, I am angry with myself for not having the same inner glow to match the one the world sees. But, what do I do? This is the way I feel and I cannot tell myself to feel a certain way. 
I am not alone in this tough journey, that much I know. But then again, whoever out there would understand the pain, and hurt of an overweight girl that the society strips down with words? At the end of the day, I am still me and the society is something I cannot escape from. 

Signing off with a note to myself that I am beautiful,

Friday, March 1, 2013

A child stuck in adulthood.

Let me start by saying that I am pretty sane in this post. Not high on sugar, coffee or any of that sort. I have so much to say. February was a good month for me. I had amazing unbelievable moments, pretty stressful times that just turned out to be so much worth it and yes, *drum rolls* I turned 22!
However, leaving all that aside for just a moment, I am going to kick start March with talking to you about human desires. As much as you would love to know from where I got this topic and as much as I'd love to tell, I can't. So, sit back and enjoy the sane Raevarthy for a second!
Have you had those moments in which you just stopped whatever you were doing for a minute, took a look around you and wondered what on Earth you are doing? I had that today. I was in class today when all of a sudden I just lay my head on my table, looked around and was swept by this alien like feel. It grasped at my heart, pinned my soul down and swirled around me before leaving me breathless. In that very few seconds, I had a glimpse of what life would have been had I not taken the road of becoming a teacher. I know this sounds a little dramatic but really, if you think about it, this is just something we all have been through. I am just expressing myself the way I know how to. 
Anyway, what has human desires got to do with me not becoming a teacher? Simple. The desire to do things at the spur of a moment. Ever had that? This is pretty dangerous trust me. But that is how I have made most of my life's decisions. I decided to apply for the teaching course in the spur of a moment when I was having a conversation with a good friend and then decided to take up the interview in the same manner,but this time a talk with mum. And the grand finale of deciding to do teaching came when I sat next to dad in a restaurant and heard an uncle praise his daughter for being a teacher. He said to dad, "you will only realise it when someone tells you how wonderful your daughter is with their child". At that moment, I saw a glow in dad's eyes, thought of how much this meant to mum and made up my mind to be a future educator. Wasn't that tough of a decision to make. I just wanted those who loved me to be happy.
But that was 3 years ago. When I just hit 18 and was wondering what to do with my life. Now, I am 22 and life pretty much sucks because you cannot make "in the spur of the moment" decisions any longer. I am forced to think, over think and at times, forced to glue the broken pieces of me to come up with a decision. Whoever said that growing up is easy again?
Point is, the desire to do things at the spur of a moment is pretty fascinating, and I miss it. Honestly, from the deepest corner of my heart, I wish I hadn't grown up because now everything is just so much more scary. People look at me as an adult and how do I shout that I am not ready? Because I am not. The things I want in life are just within miles away and now at this juncture, I am just not sure whether I want it any longer. My desires have changed and so have my needs.
I am a child stuck in adulthood. I need time before I can figure this whole growing up thing. So, somebody, please point me towards the rewind button. I so need it.
Signing off with the desire to be a child,