Saturday, February 25, 2012

What is LOVE again?

Alright ladies and gentleman. Let me hear it now. A huge round of applause for me please. I left as a 20 year old in my last post and here I am, a full grown woman. Well, ya, that may sound a little too exaggerated. Okay, I am 21. That is a big number isn't it? So, just let me be happy for a while! So, yes, I am 21! 21!
Okay. Now that I am done being happy, let me move on to the topic of the day. Well, you guessed it. L.O.V.E! Okay, to those that may have sighed at this juncture, please leave. I am not changing my topic. I am still talking about love. And yes, I do hear you. And ya I know that I have a tendency to go on and on when it comes to love. Well, what can you say? I am a girl so driven by her heart. Yihaa!
So, lets talk about love. I have a question here. Why do we love? Seriously. Stop laughing. I really wanna know. Why do we fall for an idiot that does little to notice our existence? Like really. Why are we that stupid? I have been through the whole crushing on someone, butterflies in the tummy, the world going topsy turvy and all that. But till today, I have not found a reason as to why people fall in love. The situation is fairly simple. A meets B. A falls for B. Then B falls for A. And they lived happily ever after. Simple neh?
But the thing is, reality isn't all fairy tale like. The thing is, no one has ever told the story of what goes wrong in a relationship that leads single people like me to believe that everything is sugar coatedly right and that when my prince charming eventually comes for me, he will sweep me off my feet and carry me to his kingdom where he will look after me so well and keep me happy. Sounds nice? Well, its not true! Okay, as shocking as it is, that that came from me, allow me to explain.
The thing is, I have been thinking. And honestly at this juncture in my life, I am driven to think that love is something that we believe in. It is not necessarily true. And it definitely need not exist. It's just this thought, some random fantasy in our hearts. So yes, there are people out there that believe in love and there are people that don't. And lemme tell you this, you do not need to believe in love. You can choose not to too. But the thing is, life would be very lonely if you don't. Imagine waking up everyday next to yourself and having no one to hug. I mean, that sounds tortures to me, I dunno about you. And imagine spending every Valentines without anyone by your side. That's very very lonely!
So all I'm saying is that don't be blinded by love. It is not all fairy tale, it is not always happiness and yes, your significant other would drive you up to the walls at times.But the thing is, in love, there is only one rule and that is, always remember that if it is meant to be, it is and if it is not, it never will. Remember that and you might just survive in this crazy path called LOVE!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Do soulmates exist?

You know how sometimes you just wanna run away from the world? You just wanna take your heart out, stomp on it and put it back in? Has it ever happened to you? I guess my biggest problem in the world is this fairytale like life that I live in. Not that it has been a problem so far, but ya, with the big 21 rolling in, maybe just maybe I should indeed step back into reality. But reality is such a bore! So, what do I do huh?
I was talking to a friend yesterday and she told me that in order for you to find your prince charming, you have to list down all the characteristics you want him to have, and then wish so hard and believe that you will meet such a guy and voila, he'll come! Of course, I did give her the whole, "that's stupid, you need to meet a guy the traditional way" and all. But, I couldn't help it. I am curious. Is it possible? Like, in just wishing, he'll walk into my life? Seriously?
Let me tell you a secret. I am Miss Love. It is true that I have never been in a relationship before and it is also true that I am the go to girl when it comes to love. But this is who I really am. I am a girl who is struggling to keep my faith in love. I have seen enough to know it is not all fairytale like.
I am afraid. Very afraid. Very very afraid of falling in love. I'm afraid of the fact that I may get my heart broken. And, that's very very hurtful isn't it? I am afraid of wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone. What if I make a mistake? What if it is all temporary and he'll just walk out on me one day. What if I trust him so much and he ends up scaring me after a few years. What if all that he promised, those sweet words just get swallowed up by time? What if he changes? What if love runs out?
I practically preach every single day that you have to believe in love. You have to learn to love after being hurt. You have to let yourself fall for the one your heart desires. You cannot give up on love. Ask my friends and see. I am Miss Love. But, I am also a simple girl, who has been through a lot in life, who cries at the most silliest things, who gets very defensive when someone she cares for is hurt, who dances to her own tune, who is extremely scared of practically everything, but puts on a brave front. I am just another girl trying hard to guard her heart for the one that deserves it.
So yes, I am just like you. I am afraid of falling in love. But I am believing that GOD has made someone for all of us. He is out there and she is out there. So, it doesn't matter that you are finding it hard to believe in love. Believe in GOD instead. Trust his judgments. And my dears, do not be afraid of wanting to fall in love. It is a sign that you are alive. That your heart is still beating. And yes, they are all not the same. Just because someone broke your heart, doesn't mean all of them would. If it is not meant to be, it will never be. But if it is indeed meant to be, then no matter what happens, hurricanes, distance, other girls, other guys, your parents, your relatives, her ego, his ego, misunderstandings, fights, etc, matter what happens, two hearts that are meant to be, can never be separated.
As what Arielle Ford once said, "When deep down in the core of your being you believe that your soulmate exists, there is no limit to the ways he or she can enter your life"

Ps: So I should go and write that list kan? *thinking hard*

Monday, February 13, 2012

It is Valentines Day after all! :)

Well, let's hear it now! Valentines Day is here once again! I have spent the whole week asking people what their plans were for Valentines, listening to love stories and honestly even me, Miss Love is suffering from a overdose of love. So, my dear readers, lets take a break away from love and go to the other side for a teeny weeny while. If your single, or recently turned single or just about never had a relationship before in your life, then this post is for you. My single people, pay attention!
So, ya, I have always wondered how does it feel to love and be loved in return. Coming from me who went through a quite messy phase in terms of the heart last year, maybe you should listen to me. Well, people let me tell you a secret. I believe that deep within our conciseness, we all wish to have someone perfect to run to when days get tough and quite frankly, I sometimes question the reason why people are in love in the very first place. Honestly, you have less problems when you are not in a relationship. You don't have to live your life for another person, no need for those long long talks on the phone that does make the bill go high doesn't it? And definitely there is no need to shop for hours to find the perfect gift for your significant other. That's all a hassle isn't it?
When you are single, you get to experience life for yourself. You get to be who you want to be, and you get to do things you want to do, and yes, that includes flirting with strangers. Life is not all bore when you are single. I have less problems, let me tell you that.
But then again, it is the season of love. And not having someone by you hurts a little bit. There are no roses delivered to my name, no chocolates with special messages on it nor love letters that make me swoon. So, ya, being miss love, it does hurt despite having all the freedom in the world to do what I want to do tomorrow.
So I guess, my single ladies and gents, is it worth being single when there is so much love around you? I guess I am saying that it is often very easy for us to give up on love when something happens. But, remember, do not let the rain fool you that the sun would never rise again. Love is meant to be felt. The most beautiful feelings in the world. So, take risks, fall in love, madly in love and never ever regret it!
Happy Valentines Day people! Spread the love around!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Appreciate life more.

Appreciate life more. I say that about a gazzilion times a day in my head. I walk around, not taking life seriously and when something bad happens, I automatically hear myself saying, "Its okay. You have so much more to be thankful of". Sounds normal? Well, it is not. I hate that I do that. Honestly.
Life is not suppose to be a big battle of things. It should be easy. It should be happy. There should not be sadness, misery, or anything unhappy. Life should be a natural process. I'm not making much sense kan? Well, I am not saying that I can't handle life. I can. It's just that I don't want to. I don't want to live in such a place where all I can see is darkness and all I crave for is the mere sight of light. I want to be young and carefree and happy. I just want to be happy. Of course, it's not that I am not happy now. But, I want such happiness that even the angels up there in heaven would be envious of. And if that is too impossible, then all I want is such happiness that would leave a smile on my lips when I fall asleep at night.
So yes, I am reminding myself to appreciate life more. And you should too. Even if you are hurting, confused, broken hearted, just appreciate life more. It is a gift that we are alive today.
But I would also say that I miss someone so badly. Someone I can never see again in my life. Of course I know that that someone is in a better place. I have come to accept that fact. But it's just that when I don't know what to do, I don't have a place to run to anymore. I don't have someone to depend on.
I wish things were different, yes I do. I wish life worked in reverse. I wish I can close my eyes, and go back to the past.
But there is no point in wishing. So I am opening my eyes wide, taking a deep breath, and appreciating life. After all, everything happens for a reason.


Life just gets to me at times. I honestly don't know or understand what I am doing. Can you really blame me for not liking responsibilities? Age is catching up with me and I fear I'd lose out without even trying. Maybe it's in my head. Maybe it's true what they say, never listen to yourself late at night. I guess I just need a shoulder to lean on. Where to find one huh?

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Of weddings and falling in love!

Let me tell you a secret. I love weddings! I absolutely love everything to do with weddings! Reason? Well, it is the ultimate union of love right? And I'm after all Miss Love! So, you see, I have a solid reason to love weddings! So ya, today I went to the temple in the morning and there was a wedding that probably just took place. The guests were not there but the bride and groom were. They looked so beautiful in each others arms as the photographer snapped their pictures. I couldn't help but smile.
So, that left me wondering on how my own wedding would take place. I know I have pushed it to be after I turned 27 because, well that is the most ideal age according to mum and well, I have not met anyone yet. Who knows? It might take 6 years or more down the road. (which I certainly hope it doesn't)
So yes, I guess I am asking and questioning the single status I am currently living in. I am afraid of commitments, I would not deny that. Worse still, I am afraid that if I loved, I run the risk of losing. But then again, being who I am, I would say that if you loved the right guy, he would never let you go. But ya, reality is way different from fantasy kan? Either way, I would say that I am afraid of opening up to anyone because I fear rejection, I fear falling for the wrong person and I am just so scared that being in love would take away all that I believe in.
It is not fair for me to judge love because honestly I have not been loved in return. So yes, maybe it is wrong to fear that which I do not know. But how do one tell the heart to fall without fear when there is always a past that reminds me of what happened? People always tell me that you can never choose love, it chooses you. So, my part is to just wait for someone to walk into my life and show me that it was worth waiting? I have no idea.
But if you asked me, I would say that I am very happy with my life right now. I am single, and I am honestly happy. I guess, when love happens it happens. So, I am instructing my mind to not look and locking away my heart. Maybe just maybe my very own prince charming is on his way and is just lost. :)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Why do we miss people?

So, lets say that you miss someone k. It can be anyone. Someone you haven't seen in a while, someone you wish you could see soon, someone you know you should not under any circumstances miss, but you do...ya, you get my point. Lets just say you miss someone. What would you do? I know I am the kinda person who says that you should always express your feelings and emotions and should never hide what you feel. But, what if time, does not permit you to do so? What do you do then?
Well, I went out today and bought a rose plant. Remember I told you about Lady? The one that bloomed orange roses for me? Unfortunately she passed a few weeks back and despite it being a huge wound to me, I still went ahead and got another rose plant. This one blooms peach roses. Walking into the shop, I knew it was love at first sight because it reminded me of someone. Someone I miss. Maybe that someone will never know how much I miss him or her, but I do. And so I named the new plant, a him this time around, MISHU. Yes, Mishu stands for miss you.
As crazy as it sounds, it works, trust me. Whenever you miss someone, go get something that reminds you of that person and look at it. You will cure the missing part of yourself. By the way, I am intrigued. Why do you think we miss people?

Friday, February 3, 2012

Be sick and look around....

Those that know me know that I do not like to be sick. I hate swallowing medicines and I definitely can't stand the smell of hospitals. But there is this one thing that being sick teaches you, and that is who really cares about you. Well, it is not that I am sick for me to type out this post. But someone triggered something in me, that I feel like typing this out. I have been through hospitals in this last two years, and even if I was not the patient, hospitals make me feel so uncomfortable. But then again, those same hospitals taught me what care is. You see, it is pretty simple. I am saying that no matter who you are, what your story is, when you are sick, or on your death bed, you have to turn around and see who is there for you. You have to do this. Those faces that you see around you are the ones that truly care and love you. You may be the most wealthiest man in the world, but if you are sick and there is no one to hold your hands, it is not worth any of your wealth. Money and love are just two things that will never blend. Of course I am seeing it from the view point of health. But its just that, being sick teaches you a lot of things. It teaches you who to trust, who not to, who to cry to, who not to, whose hands you can hold, whose you can't...It really teaches you a lot.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

When the single life gets on your nerves...

It is finally February and we all know what that means. It means that soon enough there would be all sorts of lovey dovey status updates in FB, the florist would be overpricing their roses, gift shops would be filled with excited teens, and somewhere in another world, single people would be upset and jealous watching their friends having fun. Ooookay. Not that I'm saying all single people are like that. I'm merely expressing my opinions from a stand point in which I mingle with too many taken girls each day and trust me at times I have those jealous thoughts as well. So, I thought about it and ya, despite what a single girl might say, the whole "oh its ok. I'm so happy being with myself, I have no time for guys" and all...well, truth is that life being single is not at all fun. It gets very lonely indeed. Especially at times in which you need someone to make you laugh and there is no one. I do know that a few girls would be fuming with anger by now with that statement. But ladies, don't you think it's true? Frankly speaking, being single is lonely. You do not have anyone to run to when the going gets tough. True, some of us are blessed with friends who are always there for us. But, have you experienced situations that even your very own best friend couldn't understand you, let alone be there for you. True enough, it happens.
Okay. If that argument is not for you. How about this one. Those days that you want nothing but to be pampered. And you have no one to do that for you. I mean it is not really my say, but then again, is there a girl that doesn't like to be pampered or be noticed by the opposite sex? I believe the answer is no.
And there is this one benefit that girls with boyfriends have, and that is the little happiness and skip in their hearts. The way the heart yearns and misses for their significant someone. Now, that is one that I think is the most beautiful aspect of a relationship. The times that you miss them. Like for example, you are doing something and a song comes on and it reminds you of that person. That someone that you love. How can that not be something worth being jealous of?
Well, when the heart is jealous, it says a lot of things. Maybe I am jealous after all. Maybe I am starting to believe that there is no prince charmings out there and the "someone" for me won't magically walk into my life and I have to indeed go out and hunt for him.
Well, whatever I may say, I would admit that being single has taught me one thing and that is, life is going to be the same with or without someone by your side. If you don't love your life and you are not happy in it, you won't be happy with someone else in it! So, if you are wondering what I'm up to for this Valentines Day, well...I am going to go out and pamper myself. I'm going to love myself first and treat myself the way any girl should be treated. Anyone wanna join me?