Let me tell you a secret. I love weddings! I absolutely love everything to do with weddings! Reason? Well, it is the ultimate union of love right? And I'm after all Miss Love! So, you see, I have a solid reason to love weddings! So ya, today I went to the temple in the morning and there was a wedding that probably just took place. The guests were not there but the bride and groom were. They looked so beautiful in each others arms as the photographer snapped their pictures. I couldn't help but smile.
So, that left me wondering on how my own wedding would take place. I know I have pushed it to be after I turned 27 because, well that is the most ideal age according to mum and well, I have not met anyone yet. Who knows? It might take 6 years or more down the road. (which I certainly hope it doesn't)
So yes, I guess I am asking and questioning the single status I am currently living in. I am afraid of commitments, I would not deny that. Worse still, I am afraid that if I loved, I run the risk of losing. But then again, being who I am, I would say that if you loved the right guy, he would never let you go. But ya, reality is way different from fantasy kan? Either way, I would say that I am afraid of opening up to anyone because I fear rejection, I fear falling for the wrong person and I am just so scared that being in love would take away all that I believe in.
It is not fair for me to judge love because honestly I have not been loved in return. So yes, maybe it is wrong to fear that which I do not know. But how do one tell the heart to fall without fear when there is always a past that reminds me of what happened? People always tell me that you can never choose love, it chooses you. So, my part is to just wait for someone to walk into my life and show me that it was worth waiting? I have no idea.
But if you asked me, I would say that I am very happy with my life right now. I am single, and I am honestly happy. I guess, when love happens it happens. So, I am instructing my mind to not look and locking away my heart. Maybe just maybe my very own prince charming is on his way and is just lost. :)