When love is the reason for your silence.

Isn't it ironic how sometimes you just love someone so much and then all you wanna do is strangle them? Or how much you are so close to someone and yet there are things that just gets on your nerves? Or how about those times you gossiped about a friend to another friend and then you move on with life, smiling, laughing and being in good terms with the other like nothing ever happened. Funny how all of us keep quiet at times despite having this intensifying urge in us to confront someone. Why this dual personality then? Are we all really hypocrites?

I have been through phases in my life in which I look at someone and go, "OMG, I am so lucky to have him/her in my life". Then something happens, and things change. There is just no such thing as having a relationship so pure and untouched by any sins or is it just me that never found such a relationship before?
An old friend once told me this. When it comes to ego or relationship, you have to choose relationship. You should be able to put aside your differences, swallow your pride and anger just to keep someone in your life. Trust me, I do not have the patience to do that. I mask patience. My family would tell you wonderful stories of how short-tempered, easily defending her rights kinda gal I am. It is just so funny how I am not all that outside home. Maybe I am a hypocrite after all. Or maybe I just don't want to go through the hassle of cleaning up the mess that follows once an argument blows over.

Recently, I find myself taking more deep breaths to deal with the people in my life. People that do not know the "real" me. I find it hard though. I mean, keeping quiet when you wanna just scream at someone is torture. Trust me on that. I sometimes walk from one end of the hallway to the other just to keep myself from boiling over. If it was just someone I never loved, it would be much easier. I would scream and move on like nothing happened. Funny how love is the reason for my silence. No one ever said loving a friend is tough. But it is. Much tougher than loving a guy/girl and being in a relationship with them.

Ego versus relationship? I am choosing relationship.

Reasoning my doubts.

So there I was. Sitting and cursing the fact that I have no class tomorrow and yet I am stuck here in my hostel room, with a million worrying thoughts and nothing much I could do when I saw my diary resting among a pile of papers, clips, bottles, and other materials that make up my life here. It was shining to me, gesturing for me to pick it up. I don't know whether I should say that it is a miracle that it happened so but I did pick it up, browsed through pages of my life story and landed on one that immediately made my eyes go wider. I stared, my heart beating faster and finally when I turned the page, a tear made its way down my cheeks. There in big bold words I wrote, "I am a bird, living in a caged world, I can fly free if I push the doors open".

Fear of the unknown. How many of us have had this fear in us that has somehow been the reason for us holding back and not doing something that we yearned so much to do? Familiar no? I am this person. I dream big. I have constant flashes of what life would be like if I just had the guts to do something that my heart and soul yearns to. But the thing is, no matter how strong the calling has been, I always second doubt myself. I fear that I am not good enough. I fear rejection. 

And that is one that I tell myself each and every day that I need out of my system. At a time in which I needed some push and shove, this diary entry came as an angel. It is so funny how something I scribbled down somewhere somehow at one point of my life, is something I am holding on to today.
So, everything does happen for a reason...Right? 

How do you woo a woman? :)

Hey people of my blogging world! I humbly seek forgiveness for my absence. I just lost my writing spark a little. I wrote drafts after drafts, mostly driven by what I would say "immediate emotions". None got published though coz well, I second doubted myself, which by the way, is not healthy. I will get to explaining on that another day, but first let me be me and talk about an issue that is very close to my heart. Women.
I am not going to rant on how I think women are being treated far less then what they deserve to be treated like nor am I going to blame the male population for being the reason behind it. I am done with that. Today, I am going to tell you how I think you should woo a woman. Ears up boys. Switch on your brains coz this one is for you.
"How do you woo a woman? First of all, what the hell is wooing a woman again Raevarthy?" I got that from a friend today. He told me, "I don't understand why women need wooing. I mean, though I get the whole thing that if you like a girl and all you gotta show her how much she means to you, but what's with the whole thing of wooing a girl? What am I supposed to do?" He was clearly very frustrated and despite laughing at the statement he made, it got me thinking. He was right. Women need wooing and not many men are good at it.
Screw boxes of chocolates, bouquets of roses or even love letters. Those pave the way to her heart, but you know what keeps her? Read on!
1) Being faithful
     I know she is not yours yet. But if you like her and you want her, then stop flirting. Nothing else can say that you are more serious about her than this. You think she does not know. But, trust me, if you have got a girl's attention, she knows. Oh yes she does. And if you can show her that you can be faithful despite not officially being her boyfriend, then my friend, you are in her good books and that is the first step to wooing her.

2) Make her laugh
    This is my favourite. I think that a guy that can make a girl laugh is a keeper. Girls love guys with a good sense of humor, just don't overdo it or else you will end up being a clown.

3) Be spontaneous!
    Don't over think stuffs. Really. Show her that you are interesting. If you are like every other man, how can she possibly fall for you?

4) Run from the "friend" zone!
    I am a girl, so trust me on this. Girls have a few zones that they categorise guys into. The friend zone is not one that you wanna target for. If you fall into the friend zone, you are going to be there forever. Instead, target for the best friend zone! 90% of girls would fall for their guy best friend, one time or another, somehow. So if you want her, offer a shoulder to lean on, wipe her tears, and just be there for her. The trick though, is knowing when she falls for you. I can't help you there. You gotta be good at reading the signs. Catch her when that happens and she is yours forever.

5) Be a spy!
   I am not asking you to stalk her or anything. I am telling you to be smart. Pay attention to what she says. Every girl has got that one thing that is more important than anything in their lives. You gotta find out what that is and be smart enough to show her that that thing is important to you too. Confusing? Simple. Some girls are so attached to their mums. Target on that. Show your gentlemen side to her mum. As for me, nothing is more sexier than a guy playing, cuddling and talking to animals. That makes me go crazy!

So boys, let the wooing process start! Weave your way to her heart and stay there! Good luck!

Ps: Before I get bombarded by my guy friends, this is after all written by me, and I am a girl, so it could be very girl minded but then again, if you want to get a girl, you gotta get tips from a person with the girl mind kan? Kan? *winks*