Thursday, August 2, 2012
The big "S" word!
Nope, I am not talking about that S word. I am talking about the other one. You know the one where you actually feel like pulling out all your gorgeous locks, while at the same time clenching your jaw and swallowing your thoughts? Yeap, the big STRESS word! Beware folks, Raevarthy is stressed! And we all know it is not a good thing when that happens! In the last 12 hours, I have felt this intensifying urge to scream at the top of my voice at certain people and yet all that I have done is smile and nod. You see how that is so not me? I am the kinda person who puts her thoughts out there, for good or for worse, never worrying much, not judgemental on the reaction of the other party and definitely way open to feedbacks and criticism. However, the absolute one thing that I hate is when people put me down. I hate that more than anything in this whole wide world, even more than when people lie to me, though that definitely takes the second top spot! The point is, I know myself enough to know that I am capable to get my work done within the time given and in that produce a decent piece of work. I am not perfect but I am perfectly eager to learn and rectify my mistakes. However, I cannot, and I repeat cannot learn in a surrounding that is placing me at the lowest of the lowest. I don't believe in that type of learning and certainly I have took up an oath to never be the teacher that does that too. Hence, it is taking all that I have in me to control my temper and anger that is threatening to flame out, burning down everything in sight. I am fully aware of the repercussions if that ever happens and no, it is not one that I like. So, instead I am taking in a deep breath, flooding my thoughts with images that brings peace while slowly lowering my temper level. Honestly, with all that I am going through right now, I really need to start taking yoga lessons! But hey, it is just for another 2 years right? So what the hell? I'll just lower down the attitude a lil. After all, being a teacher means being able to put on masks kan?