Saturday, October 22, 2011

Like a misplaced jigsaw.

It's 9.47 a.m on a typical Sunday and I'm here blogging. I keep on glancing over to my phone which is securely holding my broadband in place. No new messages. Haiz.
Try as I might, I can't seem to be able to focus on anything. I feel like I need something excitingly new in my life. I wake up every morning and it's the same. Life is starting to get to me. When I was in the hostel, it was always wake up, shower, wrestle with hair, go to class, try to pay attention, talk non-stop with Kak Nab and Bagya, walk around the entire college hoping to bump into someone, go home, check into fb, get some work done, go for dinner and go to sleep. Though dinner could be fun at times, hunting for food and all, it was still the same routine. Either I would be too free or too busy and I hate that. I hate routines.
And now that I'm at home, things have changed slightly. Things are quieter and a lot easier to handle. I feel like a hypocrite saying that, but it is. I mean, in college all I think of is myself. And here at home, I have dad, mum n Ruby and Dino to think about. It is true that I am a much more mature person here at home. But it is still a routined life. And it still gets to me.
I took home 3 novels to keep me occupied during this short one week break and though I have started on it, its not keeping me engaged. It's weird actually. Its not like I'm bored or anything. I mean, I have tons to do. It's just that I feel like there is this part of my life that is missing. You know the feel you have when you put together a jigsaw puzzle and then you realise you lost one piece? And due to that one piece, your whole puzzle is ruined? That's how I feel. But, I still can't put my fingers to what it is that I don't have. As far as I know, I do things with no regrets. I don't skip doing something because its wrong to do so. I set my own rules. So what is it that is missing? I have no idea.

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