Writing has always been a means of me escaping from reality. You know how fairytale-minded I am and you also know how much I stress the fact that there is indeed a fairytale in every person's life. But I guess time and people have made me wiser. If not much, at least wiser enough to know where I stand. There are people who call me matured for my age and then there are people who say I am the most childish person they have ever met. I laugh at both sides but in reality I do not know where I stand.
However, I know this much. I value myself a lot. I really do not care about what people say. They do not live my life and as such, they have no say in how I should behave or how I should be. This is me and I am proud of who I am, flaws and all.
I am 21, yes, and I have no idea how this whole life works. I cry at the slightest thing that bugs me and I am ultra-sensitive. I care too much and true enough, when you care, you get hurt. I put family on the top of any list of priorities. I'm probably the most random person in this whole world and yet, I have boundaries.I can't cross roads without someone with me and yet I can drive perfectly well with no one by my side. Oh ya, while we are at it, let me tell you this, I have an intense fear of driving on rainy days. I love food probably more than I should, and I am not the slightest bit shy to admit that I have weight problems. I preach about loving yourself more than anyone in this wide world and yet, I dislike my cheeks, I think they puff up too much when I smile. I have days in which my hair does not behave and I really want to just chop them off, yet I look at myself in the mirror and think I have a "okay" kinda hair. I am about 155 cm tall. Not even the standard height for a girl and I like it. Ya, I have a huge crush on shoes and I have to literally tell myself a thousand times to not buy a pair of shoes whenever I enter any shoe shops. I am addicted to coffee and I am not kidding when I say this, I had to actually work out a plan to stop being so addicted to coffee. Yes, it was to that extent.
The conclusion is that, I am not perfect and I know it.
But really, take a look at me. I am proud of who I am, flaws and all. This is me. I do not know how to be anyone else. I am me. So, no I am not changing. You either take me for who I am or you are free to walk out of my life. I am happy both ways. And no, I do not chase after people who give up on me. I still have self-worth. But I will never give up on those I love, this much I am sure. :)
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