A fellow friend asked me that the other day. Gotta admit, I got stunned for one second. I never thought about having a past affect the future. For me, life is always meant to be lived as how it is, the current without much thoughts about the past nor the future. But, despite having answered that in my most matured way possible, it got me thinking. Why is it that we, humans can never look past what happened in the life of someone? It is impossible to say that we never even once talked about someone without referring to their past, is it? So, let me shed some light on that topic today.
The main problem with us humans is for a fact that we have expectations in life. We decide what we want based on notions of what is right and what not. Very few times in life I have met people who told me that they don't expect anything in life, be it relationships, friendship, family, security, job, or anything at all. I humbly bow down to the fact that I have big expectations in my life too. But the only difference here is that I am somehow a very practical person. I wouldn't say that you are wrong but I wouldn't argue that I am right either. Pretty safe way to lead a monotonous life, no?
So, what is it with expectations and past? In the most simplest way possible, I dare say that it is not that we can't accept the past of someone, it is just that we do not want to let go of something as simple as just thoughts to truly embrace the present. And that, my friends, is a very dangerous thing. What if you lost the present and the future for something as simple as the past? Pretty scary if you think about it.
But then again, as sane and practical I deem myself to be, if there is one thing that I cannot take, it is lies. Remember this, we all have a past life that we have shut down from, picking ever so carefully whom we share it with. So, I would say this, I believe that a person would be accepting of the past of someone if you told them from the very beginning. Don't try to hide something because we all know that everything hidden will be found one day.
And that brings me to the next reality. Is it okay to not say anything of one's past, knowing full well that the other party may not know if you do not tell? Well, that is very much an easy way out isn't it? I would say that the deciding factor on this is you. Is that what you want? Would you rather have a house with a shaky foundation but beautiful deco or a house with a pretty firm foundation but with a patched up deco? It is tempting to pick something beautiful over something "imperfect", isn't it?
Well darling readers, let the past live in the past. Do not throw away the future for something as simple as the past.
As Joyce Chapman once said,
"If you're still hanging onto a dead dream of yesterday, laying flowers on its grave by the hour, you cannot be planting the seeds for a new dream to grow today."