Saturday, December 24, 2011

A silent cry.

And it is as such that with clasped hands, and a strong front, fighting the warm tears that threaten to gush down, I made a decision. All that ran in my head was "What am I to do when I don't know what to do?". I hoped someone would magically appear right then, hold my hands and tell me its ok. It's alright for they would make that decision for me. That they would take care of things. But I turned to see faces looking at my own. With a raised impatient look, people started questioning. I was already broken into pieces when I said, "I think we'll do as you said". And I knew I would have to live with that sin for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter how much I cried afterwards. Nothing would wash me of the regret of not being able to care for that stray puppy. He looked into my eyes and I turned away, refusing to meet his pity gaze. I knew then that even he was mocking me for my inability to make a simple decision. But, how do you decide when you know either way he is going to be alone.?Was I the only one who thought loneliness hurts? Was I the only one who believed that you always need someone to survive on in life? I walked into my room, shut the door and sobbed into my pillow. I looked at my own Ruby and Dino and knew that I would die the very next second if anything at all should happen to them. Why did God create animals if they are not able to fend for themselves?

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