If you asked me how I feel right now, I'd say that i'm exhausted, tired and I feel as though I have the entire weight of the world on my shoulders. And that reminds me of something I forgot to tell you. Recently an astrologer told my mum that I am a person who thinks too much. I put my head into things I shouldn't worry about. He said that it's not like I have to worry but I worry. I looked at him and thought, "You have no idea what you are saying". But ya, I admit that he did get my personality laid out. Well, not all of it. But ya. Anyway, my point is that I feel lost.
Well, don't get me wrong. I'm not weak. I mean, I can handle life. But..I just...Well, at times, there is just so much that a person can take. I know complaining doesn't take you anywhere. And I know that I should be positive about things.I mean, if you read this blog often, you know how positive I am. But, at times, amidst all that positivity and all that courage, I can't help but ask, "Why me?" or "How much more?" This past week has had me thinking of life in general.
Like the other day, when I was in the clinic, I saw a hourglass on the doctor's table. And then I remembered a quotation I read once. "Life is like an hourglass. You hit rock bottom and then you just have to wait around for someone to come turn it around" And I laughed. I mean, my life would be a perfect example of an hourglass. Let me explain.
It's true. You hit rock bottom, wait for someone to come turn your life around and then what happens? You hit rock bottom again! And the process continues. Is that what life was meant to be. I d know that I am one of the luckiest girls on earth for I have food to eat, a place to stay and clothes on my back. I am far better off than milions of girls in other corners of earth that don't even have that. I am not abused. I have an education. I have a family that loves me.
But ya. At times, things just get so hard. Like I think of the future and I all I have are questions. One thing at once. That's the way I am living right now. But ya. I guess, if life was a game, I really feel like I am losing right now. And, I know I hate losing. So, what am I to do?
Anyway, I just felt like writing. I felt like getting things outta my system.
Wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Stay blessed people! :)