Tuesday, May 11, 2010

-Too much drama-

Yes, it is the season of Macbeth but the drama that i am referring to ain't got nothing to do with Macbeth...It is everything around me...the people around me.... sometimes, i feel like im floating outside my body, watching ever patiently all that happens..everyday is a brand new day..nothing is the same...my emotions change...somehow, i feel im gng through the dreadful period of pre-teen life again..
Once again, somehow i lost trust on a person that i used to admire the most..i always told my mum that a teacher should be as dedicated as him..i feel sad typing this out..but maybe we fail to notice his mood swings or maybe we just ignored it..but it was wrong for him to make one of my best girlfriend cry...my heart weeped in silence as she wailed deeply into her sleeves...i am sorry i did not back u up..then again, all of us are syg...
i always believe that it is hard to tell, or to explain to someone about something if they choose not to hear and that is what he did.He shut his ears to our explanation. Hence, i have taken a decision to not care anymore..Quoting from Jaaz, "Who cares??!"
In another corner of my life, i have people that i love in deep trouble..trouble that they cant even splutter out..just take care hon, i m always here for you...
And yet, in a much happier tone, my sis will be back for the July hols...Honestly, i need her here.i need to be with her..i need to sense that my family life is back to normal...although normal seems to be very far away now...i m still having difficulties letting go of what happened..i try not to think about it..i m not trying to forget it..n even if i try, it somehow resurfaces...such a deep wound in my heart n i still can't find a band-aid or a cure...hope gives some light..but trust me when i say it is not enough...sometimes all u can do is hope i guess..
Sometimes in life, you let go of all the pointless drama and the people that bring it because you know you are much better off without them..In my case, i m choosing not to let go...maybe it will make me a stronger person, maybe it will cripple me..either way, im all ready for the journey!


  1. Raeva, be tough. I know you are holding to much pressure now! I promise, in the next assembly, we'll stay side by side again, and spill out everything...I miss you so much. You are near yet far from me. I'm sorry. I'm kind of emotional when it comes to work.
    I'm happy to hear that ur sister is coming back this hols. Send her my regard. Hope to see another strong girl behind The Princess!

  2. azham, i miss u so much too!!! Princess needs her bff! we so need to talk!