Wednesday, March 30, 2011

So not me!

YEAY! I'm back in Blogger! It feels awesomely good to be back n i have been having a fantastic few days! Ok, fine, that was a lie. In fact, I had never been a good lier. So, the truth is I have been having a few "lonely" days. You know, the days when nothing ever goes right and yet you can't find anything to complain about? Well, maybe I am so ungrateful after all. I had a fabulous S.B.E experience which made me fall madly in love with children, i survived my cruel B.I.G, and I had a lot of fun going out to hunt for food with Bagya. So, what's the fuss about life? Well, I don't know. I feel like my soul is not at peace. Its as though I stole a banana from a starving monkey( which i will never do, btw,) and now feel bad for it. Except, the banana is not real and neither is the monkey. Get me? I know. I just have a way of making things get so complicated. Please allow me to explain.
I feel as though I am giving up on myself and if you know me, you know that I love myself so much which makes me almost like a steel. No harsh words can crush me, an no cruel remarks can hurt me, or so i thought. But lately, I feel as though nothing I do is ever good enough. Sometimes, I wonder when I'd be free from trying to please everyone. I'm so tired of being the "good' girl. Sometimes, i want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to do things I want and I just want to act plain stupid. But, my inhibitions are killing me. And frankly, I'm lost. Like a child that got lost in the supermarket. Thats how I feel.
I have no where to turn to, no one to talk too and it's killing me because this is so not me. Help me, GOD!


  1. hey gal! Whats wrong with you suddenly!?! You look like more than ok for the past few days and what happen now? Did i do anything? :( :(

  2. oi..i throw u down the window ah! u r the nicest person to me (with kak nab) of course! n u noe me...i get "emo" at times..that's all...besides if u did anything, i dun need to post in blog all, i just run to small boy n complain...hahahahahahahahaha