I don't know how to explain exactly what I am writing or what this post is about. I feel burdened holding this in and I knew that I had to find some solace and some peace, which undeniably I have found in the past here in my blog. To you who is reading, I am not asking for anything more than a ear to listen. I am not okay. I have not been okay for the last 2 days and it has all got to do with a dream I had. I can't exactly remember what happened in my dream and I don't know why I don't. I am a person who can remember her dream. I dream a lot, trust me. But the moment I wake up, I would remember at least 2/3 part of my dream and it never used to be nothing more than a dream for me. Except for this one. I dreamt of blood. Lots and lots of blood. Blood from the ceiling, from the wall, from the ground. Blood. And trust me, I am getting goosebumps as I type this out. I only remember snippets of my dream, kinda like a bad movie that you watch that you don't want to remember but you do. It's there. Right there in my mind.
I did a little research on what does it mean to dream of blood and it said that I had some sort of deep emotional trouble that I need to get sorted out. That is a problem to me, because I don't know whether I am running from my emotions or I am really okay emotionally. Looking back at how my life has been for the past few months, I wouldn't say that its a perfect life, its far from that but it isn't imperfect. So, what is it then about this one dream that has got me restless? I just, I can't figure it out. And it's there. It's really bugging me. Maybe it is my fear of blood that has made this dream a little more than what it is supposed to be. Maybe that fear is conquering my mind, playing games with me. I just don't know. And not knowing is a horrible feeling.