August 30- Memories, Love, Maturity!

I'll wait even if it means waiting forever
I'll write even if it means running out of words
I'll never give up even if it means trying again and again
I'll just put on a strong face, shake off the hurt, wipe away the tears, and put a foot forward with confidence.
I believe in this and I'm not giving up. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

That was me a year ago. Who am I today? My heart will tell you better stories of that. If there is one thing that I can tell you about me, I am stubborn. I am very stubborn. Once I believe in something, I will never give up on it. I will never listen to those around me. Hell yeah, I won''t even listen to myself.
Well, it hurts to be so, I learnt that the hard way. A year ago I was a girl who listened to her heart, ignoring to the whispers of her brains. I didn't know what I was doing is an understatement. I knew. I perfectly knew. I just chose to ignore it. I chose to not be wise, to not be sane, to not be matured, to just not think. I live in a fairy tale world after all and in that world, anything is possible right?
Well, kinda. A year later, I still live in a fairy tale world. I still believe in prince charmings and I swear if you ever tried telling me otherwise, you would be scared, deeply!
Anyway, I am not saying that it doesn't hurt. It does. I mean, reading things that you wrote a year ago for someone you thought was special and yet things didn't work out, will always hurt. But the funny thing is, even in that hurt I don't feel the same way anymore. Seriously, can't believe all that I put myself into. Now it is just a memory that I will carry to my graves and I don't regret it. After all, everything happens for a reason right?
So yes, I am 21. I am single. I have never been in a relationship before. I have met Mr. Jerk, Mr. Flirt, Mr. Took-me-for-granted, you name it. I never fell in love sanely, that's for sure. Had a few crushes here and there. Had a few that I really liked. And had one that I thought I really fell for. Oh, how wrong was I!
Guess this is what happens when you believe in LOVE too much kan?
Anyway dear readers, today, on August 30th, I dare say that I am a new me and I am so proud of it! Let's toast to that!

Ps: Dear prince charming, wherever you are, trust me, when you come for me, you got a hell a lot of sweeping me off my feet to do!

Stop! You are hurting me! Bullying and all that! :)

Hello people of my virtual world. A huge hug from me to you. That hug is for those who feel that the world is picking on them and those that you know, just feel a little low and down today. Hopefully it cheers you up and reminds you that I am always here for you people. Anything at all. Besides, I love listening when someone talks, you can take me up on that, anytime of the day.
Today was a relatively good day. I know my emotions are a bit not stable right now due to all these thoughts pinned in my head, but I am trying to shake it off and concentrate on my assignments. God knows I am still so far behind and need to catch up with my fellow friends who have been submitting drafts ever since we returned to college. So yes, I am here to distress before returning back to my work.
An issue that is very personal to me is the issue of bullying. A very very long time ago,somewhere in my early teenage years, I was bullied. Along with many other things that has happened in my life, this issue remains buried deep down my soul. I have still not found the courage to talk about my story without tearing up. But, I know that the day will come in which I finally say it out with no tears and no regrets. After all, that is my life motto right? No regrets.
And speaking of bullying too, I just want to say this. If at all you are being bullied, in any form, sexual, verbal, physical, emotional and etc, it is not okay to keep quiet. Whatever that is happening, is not your fault. It will stop if you find the courage to speak out. There are people out there willing to help you out. If you can't speak to your parents, then speak to your teacher and if you cant speak to them, to any adult that you deem responsible enough. There is always an end to any problems, trust me.
Well my beautiful virtual friends, I think that is good enough of a quick post before returning to the real world, isn't it? Life is good, for now at least. Take care people! Love you lots! :)

You are just a girl and you can't do much.

Have you heard the age old saying, "She is just a girl"? Familiar? That one phrase that we say, not due to the fact that we are indeed a sexist, but because somehow deep down our minds, in a very subconscious way, we indeed find women inferior to men. I am born in a society that upholds women and at the same time puts it down. I don't blame my society for their backward thoughts but I blame us, the new generation for not doing much to change that perception. I was never a racist nor a sexist nor will I be one. But I am a person that puts her thoughts out there, unafraid of its consequences. 

We are all educated and yet we are not doing much to change how the world works in general. I believe that girls can do anything if we set our minds to it. We lead in so many forces and fields. We do what that a few centuries ago would have been frowned upon. Should we not be proud of ourselves girls?

But then again, why is there a certain group of us who still believe that we are inferior to our opposite sex. We would rather stay in an abusive relationship than walk. I do not know how many times I have said this. Relationships are supposed to keep us happy. And that happiness is not one that is embedded in slaps, punches or verbal slurs. Why is it that we fail to see that we can stand alone? I am not saying that we are not dependent to men. We are. The same way that men are dependent to us. I am merely stressing the fact that we as much as anyone deserve our love and affection. 

And if you look at it from another point of view, how many of us girls are allowed to chase our dreams, to mark our own presence in a world that is dominated by male chauvinism and ego? We are rarely appreciated for our intellectual thoughts. We are rarely seen as more than a little curve here and there covered in clothes. I have met several people myself that undress me with their eyes. My thoughts are not valued, and certainly my opinions do not count as much. Familiar? Yes, it still happens.

In this modernised world, we are allowed to step foot, to gain experience, to learn, to live, to survive along with men in all fields. However, to survive in that world, we need to have a heart that is too tough and a soul that never gives up. And that courage, sadly to say is not one that many have.

Like I said, I am not a sexist, never was one and never will be one. I am merely a 21 year old girl trying to stay sane in a society that can't seem to value me more than what that meets the eye. The phrase as I always hear, "You are just a girl and you can't do much". 

And my response has always been the same, "Watch me".