Lesson number 1 : Experience is a tough teacher, but a good one!

There is something about handing in the last exam paper and screaming your heart out that no other feelings in the world can match up to. I don't really know whether it is the excitement of looking forward for the holidays or the relief that all those sleepless nights and memorising theories is finally done and over with, it's just an unexplainable state of happiness that only college students can truly relate to.
Anyway, it goes without saying then that I have finally finished my examination and I am now a very free bird, I mean, for the next three weeks at least.
So, what's the plan you ask? Well, I have no idea! There is this long list of things I should do that I wrote down a few weeks earlier and I guess my work would be to strike off that list, an item at a time.
But, I shall insist here, with my most assertive voice that the goal is to look after myself really well. No scratching my heart, no poisoning my soul and no ignoring the needs of my body. I know I said that before, but let me be humble enough and admit to you that I did not follow through with my words. I leaned to far into the unknown land and bruised myself really bad. But I'm okay. I am healing, slowly at least. :)
Experience is a tough teacher but she is a good one. Hence, I appreciate the ones that have kicked me around like a football because I now know where I stand. And besides, life is all about learning! I'm more than happy to learn the hard way. :)

The final battle. :)

Alright. Less than an hour to go. Does any one else here feel the same way as I do. I am just looking forward to handing in the paper and screaming my heart out. Why on Earth did I sign up for Moral as my elective again? I have no idea. I thought it would be a fun process and yet I am dieing here. I can almost see myself in a classroom having fun activities to educate the young ones on moral. However, i do not see any relevance in studying complex procedures and theories right now. Did the government miss a mark then in setting up the proforma and educational objectives for this particular subject in this course? Well, being lab rats doesn't help much, that's for sure.
Anyway, I am not burdening my thoughts and I am still staying calm. Paranoia hasn't kicked in yet. I sure hope it doesn't until the entire exam is done and over with.
See you guys in a bit. I am so going on a writing spree after this. Too many thoughts to be penned down! Wish me luck peeps. The final battle. :)

No, I am not perfect, and never will be. But I am proud of who I am, flaws and all. :)

Writing has always been a means of me escaping from reality. You know how fairytale-minded I am and you also know how much I stress the fact that there is indeed a fairytale in every person's life. But I guess time and people have made me wiser. If not much, at least wiser enough to know where I stand. There are people who call me matured for my age and then there are people who say I am the most childish person they have ever met. I laugh at both sides but in reality I do not know where I stand.
However, I know this much. I value myself a lot. I really do not care about what people say. They do not live my life and as such, they have no say in how I should behave or how I should be. This is me and I am proud of who I am, flaws and all.

I am 21, yes, and I have no idea how this whole life works. I cry at the slightest thing that bugs me and I am ultra-sensitive. I care too much and true enough, when you care, you get hurt. I put family on the top of any list of priorities. I'm probably the most random person in this whole world and yet, I have boundaries.I can't cross roads without someone with me and yet I can drive perfectly well with no one by my side. Oh ya, while we are at it, let me tell you this, I have an intense fear of driving on rainy days. I love food probably more than I should, and I am not the slightest bit shy to admit that I have weight problems. I preach about loving yourself more than anyone in this wide world and yet, I dislike my cheeks, I think they puff up too much when I smile. I have days in which my hair does not behave and I really want to just chop them off, yet I look at myself in the mirror and think I have a "okay" kinda hair. I am about 155 cm tall. Not even the standard height for a girl and I like it. Ya, I have a huge crush on shoes and I have to literally tell myself a thousand times to not buy a pair of shoes whenever I enter any shoe shops. I am addicted to coffee and I am not kidding when I say this, I had to actually work out a plan to stop being so addicted to coffee. Yes, it was to that extent.
The conclusion is that, I am not perfect and I know it.
But really, take a look at me. I am proud of who I am, flaws and all. This is me. I do not know how to be anyone else. I am me. So, no I am not changing. You either take me for who I am or you are free to walk out of my life. I am happy both ways. And no, I do not chase after people who give up on me. I still have self-worth. But I will never give up on those I love, this much I am sure. :)