Friday, January 17, 2014

After 4 months, a 4 hour sleep brought me here.

Writing is easy. You sit in front of a blank page and you bleed. From your heart, soul and every vein that you have. I have decided to bleed today. It has been 4 whole months since I last wrote. My life has taken such a detour and I have climbed so many invisible mountains that I am sitting here a new person. A friend of mine once asked me, "why is your blog so dark?" Dark here of course refers to a state of sadness. My answer has always been the same. You take from it what you can and you try to infer in your own way. I will always write from my soul.
Little did I know back then that I would be sitting here reading my own old posts and trying to find the old me back. In these few months I have lost someone so dear and close to me that the wound is still healing. Tears still flow and memories still find a way to tug at my heart. I lost my soul mate, best friend and the love of my life. When she went, a part of me went with her. I know she is okay over there. I know she has wonderful friends to look after her in the after life realm. She was always someone who made friends fast. But I am here. I am struggling to get by. A million questions asked, a thousand demanding tone later, I am still not done. I have not found my closure. And I am okay with that. This pain keeps me alive. Keeps me wanting to survive for the ones I still have.
So, what am I doing here today? I have no answer for that. 4 odd hours of sleep, a pile of work to be completed, and so many errands to run. I just needed a break. And a familiar smell of comfort that this blog has provided me with. I promise to dust the hanging cobwebs and return with a way cheery post soon. Till then, I leave you with hugs and kisses.
Signing off,

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