Monday, August 29, 2011
eeecccccchhhhhaaaaaakkkkkkkk! Im back!
Today is the day I sit and explain why I have disappeared for so long. Who do I blame it on? Well, I've always been the girl who blames everything on herself...so its my fault then. I have hid out of shame. I've pushed people away because I myself don't know how to survive in a world that constantly finds fault. I've struggled to grow up. I've had sleepless nights with a feel that i would never have all that I want. On the contrary, I have also walked around with this fearless face saying im ready for it all, I've done what my heart desired to not caring whether its the right thing to do, i've stick up for things i believe in and im proud of myself. So, how do i equate on whether i've been on the right track or not for the duration of my disappearance? Its still a blurry world for me but i like it that way.
I am all that I have ever wanted to be. Sure, I stumble occasionally and I screw up things when i shouldn't. I am scared to even walk into a dark room and yet i pretend like im brave to take on anything. I am very weak on the inside and i cry on almost any issues. I am not matured and yet, who cares? I'm 20. I still have a long way to go. So, why bother? I'm gonna do things i believe in, and i dont give a damn if its the right thing o not. Im gonna live each day with no regrets and even if i fail miserably at the end, im gonna be proud of myself. And, thats how much I love myself.
So, if i like you, im going to tell u so. If i hate you, im not gonna let you push me down. N if i find myself with 40 over letters and so much love to offer, im going to gamble with my heart and let you know how i feel. And thats how much i trust my instinct. :)