Best friends and all that...:)

Best friends. Who are they and where do they come from? I’m here today to tell you that I don’t believe that best friends come from god. Family comes from god, your spouse comes from god, children are gods gift as well. Relatives, far and near, these are all god’s presents. But friends are not. And most certainly best friends are not given by god. A best friend is a choice you make. A person that you trust enough to let into your life and whom you know would be there to pick up the pieces of your life even if all that’s left is nothing but dust. Okay, that might be a little too dramatic. So, let me lay it out in simple terms.
A best friend is someone that simply loves you for who you are. And that’s why there might be people in this world without a signifant other but there can never be a person without a friend. A best friend never judges, her or she puts up with your crap, big or small and just simply loves you. And no, its not easy to find such a person. But the thing is every one of us, have such a person in our life, its just that sometimes we don’t realize that they are special to us, til they are gone. And lonely is the soul without a best friend. No, it doesn’t mean that you need to know a person for years before they become your best friend. A best friend is conceived the moment a secret is shared and though the years may pull u apart, thoughts never will. And though you might meet tons of people in ur life, a best friend is just someone you may never forget despite the circumstances.
And so, you might be intrigued as to why im going on and on on the topic of best friends today, the answer is simple. I never had a best friend that stayed throughout the years. Sure, I can name you a few that were close to me at certain periods of my life. But the trick is that I have a habit of pushing peole away from my life whenever I hit rock bottom and the thing is no one bothered to break the walls that I put up. So, ya, I never had a best friend that stayed. I enjoy the company of many good friends but honestly, I have never been in such a relationship in which I felt so comfortable to speak out anything or to be totally crazy and not be judged for it. And in saying that, I should say this to, to all my close friends who are reading this, I am so thankful for the love you guys have given me throughout the years, and im sorry to whoever that I have pushed away. Trust me, the fault is mine.
So yes, I try building relationships with people, I try being there for them forever and just when I think everything is perfect, I just tend to lose them, even if I don’t want to push them away, they drift off. So ya, best friends are not god’s gift to us. Because if they were, they will never leave you would they? A best friend is someone you choose. And that’s omeone has to choose you back. Its kinda a romantic relationship, but it surpasses all that. This relationship is worth more than money, more than love and even more than GOD. And maybe that’s why I haven’t found such a person.
And to all of you that is reading this today, let me tell you this. Appreciate your best friend. Appreciate the person who has been there for you. Try not hurting them. Try wanting to be there back for them. And never ever let anyone or anything get in between ur relationship.
And after all that is said and done, trust me, all that I want is to go back to kindergarten in which the first person I saw, shook hands with me and told me, "Lets be best friends” . In today’s world I can honestly say that all of us need that. A random stranger to be our best friend! Because truth is, we all have been hurt a little too much, and we all hold secrets that we just wish no one would judge us for.

When time starts questioning me....

Do not under any circumstances abandon your blog! Okay. That's a line I seriously need to remember! I hate the fact that I have no time, and no energy to actually sit and write. I mean, writing has always kept me happy and I really need to be happy right now. I feel as though my entire life is running away from me. Imagine standing on a abandoned road, and watching all that you ever knew slowly drift away from you. It happens right? I guess what I really am saying is that I have never been the kind of girl who was afraid of the future. I have always lived life a day at once. But sometimes, I am scared of what the future might have for me. And even if I wanna abandon thoughts of the future, the present is actually quite scary.
I am 21 and that means I am matured enough to make my own decisions right? But the thing is, I am scared. Scared to make decisions. Scared of people more like it. I have lost a good dear friend to GOD and life has not been the same ever since. No one can take his place and no one can bring back all the happiness I had before he went. But ya. The thing is, I am scared of people. I have trust issues. I have this thing in me that says all that I know, all those that I care for, my friends would eventually leave me. If it's not death, then it's something else. And that's just something I don't like. I mean, can't we work in two ways here? Why don't relationships last forever? Honestly, I'm asking.
Don't give me the "nothing lasts forever in this world" dialogue coz honestly I am tired of hearing to that. I want things to go my way. I want to be bold and brave to live life the way I want to. With the people I want to. And yes, I don't want time to take away people I love from me.
Is that too much to ask for?

I do not like being judged.

Aromatherapy.
Okay. I know. That was a random word to start my post with, but ya, I wanna talk about relaxing, keeping my fear level to a minimum zero, my temper in check, you know...the whole calming down and breathing in and out. Oookay. I know that my close friends would probably be laughing just at that last line. Well, I am the most hyper person you would know. I speak in tune and I love to go crazy. Ya, I get it, I'm quite childish too. But ya, quoting from a good friend, "You are bubbly. There is nothing wrong with that". He probably said that coz I'm like a sister to him and he loves me enough not to want to see me in a bad mood. But ya.
I am me. And ya, I admit that I'm far from being perfect. But I really really, genuinely like myself a lot. Honestly! I have no self-esteem issues, and ya, I am a girl who loves herself a lot. As impossible as it may seem, it is true! I love myself!
But there is this one thing that really gets to me and that is the fact that people judge me for that. I make friends very easily but it takes a lot to gain my trust. I do not go around reciting my entire life's story to people because I have trust issues. I either trust a person too much or I just don't. That doesn't mean that I do not regard them as a friend. It's just that at times, I really like to be with myself. You know. To just immerse myself in a world that doesn't care about me. I know that is a very stupid thing to say, but ya.
OOkay. To those that are still reading, I know this post is so not me. But bear with me please. I really need to say all this out because I have no where else to go. I am stressed out, lost and....well...I just don't know.
So, the conclusion is, I do not like being judged. I like living my life the way I want to, regardless if you think I should not do the things that I do. But wey, life only comes once. So, I just duwanna have any regrets.
Seriously, stop judging me. I just do not like being judged. It is as simple as that.