Crying for no reason.... Try it!

You know how sometimes, you just wake up feeling a little blue and depressed? Like you don't wanna get out of bed and face the world? Have you ever had those kinda days in which all you wanna do is just pull the blanket over your head and drown into a deep sleep so that you don't need to think, feel, worry or do anything of that sort? God bless you my child if you answered no to that.

I woke up in a daze today. Mum got a little worried considering how I slept early last night and was still not up. She asked me what's wrong and I just shrugged. How do you answer what's wrong when you yourself have no idea right? So, I then walked to the bathroom and stayed there for a whole 40 minutes. Took the longest shower ever trying to decide how to put away worrying thoughts and a heart that seemed to be beating ever so fast for no reason. Did it work? It made things even worse. Mum came banging the bathroom door asking me why I was not out. Again, I couldn't answer her because I did not have an answer to that either. 

Eventually when I was done with all that, still figuring out why I feel the way I do, I got myself a cup of coffee and toasted a slice of bread. Even while eating with my eyes glued on tv, with dad and mum chatting away happily, I just did not know what to do, say, or feel. I couldn't put my mind to exactly why I was feeling the way I was, despite being quite good at helping people understand their emotions. 

And then I did the most stupid thing ever, which is not really stupid considering the fact that I do it almost everyday. I went online. I logged into Facebook and scrolled through my homepage. There, that did it to me. I cried. I don't mean cry as if in, wipe away a silent tear that is trickling down the cheek kinda thing. I cried. I stuffed my face in my pillow and cried. Tears after tears. What I saw on Facebook that actually brought me to do that? Good question, really. Because I don't have an answer to that either. 

I just saw depressing, sad, emo status'es up there by some random people that you can't even say are my close friends and yet, I cried. Pretty childish for a 21 year old. Yeap, I get it. 

Point here is, I don't know why things happen the way they do. I don't know why life is cruel. And I certainly don't know why I seem to be able to not cry when I should and cry when I should not. That, there is as confusing as it sounds.
 I am an amazing girl with an outer and inner strength that could move mountains and battle through any hurdle thrown my way. I know I sound a tad bit self praising but I am honestly very proud of who I am. Been through a lot, and still surviving. But right here in this heart and soul of mine is a calling that I can't deduce. Emotions that strike at the most random hours and memories that fill the heart when you don't expect them to. Funny how they say life would shape you into who you deserve to be. Because I say, life is pretty messed up itself and no, life can't decide who you should be. That my friends, is somehow something we are all stuck figuring out. 

So, as for me, crying really did make me feel better even though I don't know why I cried. Maybe, just maybe I need a therapist after all?

Are you dating a mummy's boy? This one is for you!

Mummy's boy.
So, there's a word we have all heard. The one type of guy that we, women run away from. I mean, in general,that is. Oh ya, if you are a guy and you are reading this, oh please feel free to argue, state your defense, god knows I am looking for an excellent person to debate with right now.
Anyway, mummy's boy. Who is he again? You know, the one who prefers to stay in on a Friday night watching soap opera dramas with mum rather than hang out with his friends. You know, the one that goes, "...Erm, but my mum would not like that very much" or the one that runs to her whenever he argues with you? You get the idea here, don't you?
I remember a long time ago, when I was in my early teens that I made a vow to myself to never ever fall for a mummy's boy. The reason was simple. I am possessive and well, can be very very "attached" to what is mine. So, I thought, he is mine and no, I am not sharing, not even with his own mum! Hahaha! Oh, how naive I was!
Well people, I can't really argue on the whole concept of mummy's boy mainly because if I had a son, I would want him to be utterly devoted to me as well. But, what I can tell you, is how to deal with a mummy's boy, just in case you are after all dating one! Here you go! My top three secret tips! Boys, if you are reading this, go away now!

1) Realise that he is always going to love you more than her
- This isn't a tough one really. Either you can put up with it for the long run or you can't. My advise is simple. If you are the type of person who thinks a guy has to be your "everything", MOVE ON! Really, nothing will drive him nuts more than you asking him to state his pick! To make a choice between the woman that gave birth to him and the one that is arguing? We all know which is the easier way out, don't we?

2) Have the BIG TALK
-This is a tad bit risky, but if you love him and you honestly want things to work out, then you have to have the BIG TALK. Sit him down and tell him how it really makes you feel when he runs to her for emotional advises on your relationship. Reassure him that you think it is best to have things worked out between the both of you without having a third party involved.

3) State your rules
-This is basically something I tell all girls whenever they announce that they are in a new relationship. You just need to state your rules. He needs to know that you won't take all those loads of crap that he throws to you. Trust me girls, the more you chase after him, the more he will take you for granted, especially as the relationship progresses. Be a lady of class, tell him there are just somethings you won't give in to. And one of it could be him making his own decisions, without mummy's consultation.

Well girls, I don't know about you but I have long thrown away that concept of not dating a mummy's boy. Not because I would love to have a man pick his mum over me, but because I just know I would not fall for anyone short of being matured. And I believe a matured man would know how to treat his mother right without ignoring the other woman in his life.
Good luck with the tips though! Do let me know how it went! :)

To let go or to not?

Today, right here on the 24th October 2012, let me tell you a truth. Truth is, I do not know what I want. I think I know. I assume I have it all figured out. I have this budding reality in me that I can handle everything under the sun. But, try as I might, there is this one aspect of my life that no matter how many times I try getting rid off, it just never goes. I can't bring myself to throw away something as simple as papers, well maybe not just papers, I mean there is too much emotions attached to those papers. But the point is, I am dreading the moment of feeling free and not caged any longer. My heart deserves that much, I know that.
I have grown up and matured, not only physically but emotionally as well in just one year. But, doing this now, I don't know how well it would adjust to my new life.
Sometimes it is all okay. I don't even remember that those little memories are there, somewhere in a corner and sometimes it is all I can think of. I know that I did this to myself. But at that time, it seemed to be the right thing. Of course I do not regret what happened. I just...well...I am just wondering what if the whole scene played differently. But with that, I am also fully aware of the fact that I would have not ended up here today, if things were different back then.
So, the conclusion is, I am still holding on to what I should not. And I need something/someone to get it into my head that it is finally time to break free, and to fly away with no attachment of any sort.
Will you, yes you, do me the honour of letting my soul free?