When you fall too deep...:(

Dear heart, what are you doing to me? I feel so hyper one minute and feel so insecure the next. I do not wish to blame you because I know its not your fault. So shall I blame it on fate? Honestly, I don't know. No one is willing to listen because it's not their life and no one is going through what I am. I asked GOD to show me the way and I believe HE is trying to. Maybe this is not my fate after all. Will my heart be crushed if it was not? All I do know is that I have never felt this way before for I know the difference between all that I have carried in my heart. I wish so badly for this to be what I want it to be yet I know it is fairly impossible. I believe in fate and I know that GOD has carved my life for me. Its just the wait that is killing me. I have fallen too deep and I'm trying to climb back up. Slowly. One step at a time.