LOVE is just another verb.

I know I have been missing for a while. I just got caught up in sorting myself out that I haven't had the time to really sit and pen down all that I feel. So ya, I have no idea how long this post is gonna be. Anyway, something happened recently that really affected me. I can't say what is the issue nor can I elaborate further on it because it is honestly not something that should be of my concern but somehow is. I know, I know. I am beginning to not make sense right? I have always been the kinda girl who spoke about fairytales and prince charmings and falling in love and all. I will insist on the existence of Cinderella and really get on the nerves of those who claim for her to be nothing but a mere myth. So, naturally my life is filled with expectations and it is quite hard to keep myself grounded. For me, being in love or falling in love and all requires just two hearts who care about one another in the most extraordinary ways possible. Hence the name, "Miss Love". And now a few events later, even love seems to be something so overrated. I looked at myself in the mirror and whispered that I do not deserve to get my heart broken. I do not deserve to be the one who sits in a corner and cries, trying to nurse a throbbing pain in the heart. And most importantly, I deserve more than all that. It is funny how I stopped going aaaww at love and all that. It is even funnier that I do not believe in love any longer. I mean, I believe in the concept of love. I just do not believe that there could be anyone out there who indeed understands what love is to me. Hence, how do I give away my heart then? I always thought that I would know when the right guy comes along. I always thought that I would never miss the signs of love. I mean, I am the one who practically reads those signs for others. So ya, I am now left wondering if those signs of love and having the right ones are all true or just another lie that life makes up. I am not confused. I am just questioning my own believe in love. And this quench for an answer does not seem to be one that I can satisfy.