Cry. :'(

I miss you that I want to cry. I want to cry, really bawl out and cry. I thought I was okay. I even told everyone that I was okay. Until now. I am not even thinking of you and yet I really want to cry. Here that I am laying on my back with the lappy balanced on my tummy and my hair still wet with the cold shower I had and this back ache and head pain that all I want to do is cry. Ironic? I hear you.
I don't know how to let go. There I said it. I don't know. I really don't know. I am clueless. I am really trying here and I know I will regret this post the moment I wake up tomorrow. But I am not okay. And I have no one to run to and complain. I have no one to rest my head on and just sob because people like me don't cry. People like me shoulder other people when they cry.
So, yes, I want to cry. I want to stop feeling the way I do right now. The hard part is knowing that the tears are about to fall but the composure I have is not letting it to. I have never wanted to cry this much and so I don't know what to do.
I want to cry. Just ignore the whole world and cry.