So not me!

YEAY! I'm back in Blogger! It feels awesomely good to be back n i have been having a fantastic few days! Ok, fine, that was a lie. In fact, I had never been a good lier. So, the truth is I have been having a few "lonely" days. You know, the days when nothing ever goes right and yet you can't find anything to complain about? Well, maybe I am so ungrateful after all. I had a fabulous S.B.E experience which made me fall madly in love with children, i survived my cruel B.I.G, and I had a lot of fun going out to hunt for food with Bagya. So, what's the fuss about life? Well, I don't know. I feel like my soul is not at peace. Its as though I stole a banana from a starving monkey( which i will never do, btw,) and now feel bad for it. Except, the banana is not real and neither is the monkey. Get me? I know. I just have a way of making things get so complicated. Please allow me to explain.
I feel as though I am giving up on myself and if you know me, you know that I love myself so much which makes me almost like a steel. No harsh words can crush me, an no cruel remarks can hurt me, or so i thought. But lately, I feel as though nothing I do is ever good enough. Sometimes, I wonder when I'd be free from trying to please everyone. I'm so tired of being the "good' girl. Sometimes, i want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to do things I want and I just want to act plain stupid. But, my inhibitions are killing me. And frankly, I'm lost. Like a child that got lost in the supermarket. Thats how I feel.
I have no where to turn to, no one to talk too and it's killing me because this is so not me. Help me, GOD!