Thursday, October 7, 2010

-Crying over here-

Blank. Bleeding from the inside and it hurts, it hurts badly. They say you should take the good and dump the bad. I must say I'm taking the good and dwelling on it, not willing to let go. Maybe my life was meant to be crushed and thrown on the floor. A new trouble for the mind and soul to deal with. Maybe this will make me stronger, maybe it won't. But, it will pass won't it? Tell me, it will pass.

Today a lecturer called me up and told me in a nice manner that the skits performed defeated the purpose of the assembly. I did not blame it on anyone, did not say that it was not my idea and did not defend myself. I kept quiet. I mean, that's what a leader does right?A leader may not lead(as in my case), but she will stick up for her group till the end without passing the blame on. I kept my mouth shut. I was too stunned for words. But, i guess my place was never meant to be in the limelight.

How am I suppose to concentrate on my studies, my destructive life with friends that keep leaving, my non-existent sibling relationship or just my already messed up life if I now have something new to deal with? This tears may not flow tomorrow, but I'd still remember how it feels sitting here pouring my soul out.

PS: Blaming no one but myself when I'd love to blame the whole world for my misery!

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