-You and me : A lost friendship-

It is very hard to find a true friend. Sometimes, you feel so happy with a person or a group of people that you think it will always be that way. I loved them, I really did. Until now, I do not know for sure what happened between us. Suddenly, I hear talks about me and all I can do is laugh. I am not hurt and I do not know why. Maybe I have grown up so much, matured so much over these few days that such words do not have an effect on me anymore. I am honestly proud to admit that. Maybe the term “friends forever” was nothing but a sick joke. Only the Lord knows.

I guess that I’m the only one who thinks that friendship isn’t how you forget but how you forgive. It’s not how you listen but how you understand and it is certainly not how you see but how you feel. How do I make you girls understand that friendship is not how you let go but how you hold on?

-Cry-

I cry when I watch a sad movie

I cry when I read a sad book

I cry when I am so angry

I cry when I am upset

I cry when I am scared

I cry when I am hurt

I cry when I am betrayed

I cry when I miss someone

I cry when I am jealous

I cry when I am taken for granted

And all I do afterwards is wipe my tears and walk away.

-Rivalry-

I hate how you always seem to be right

I hate how he treats you differently

I hate how smart you are

I hate how you lost all the weight while I still struggle

I hate how pretty you are

I hate how you are respected while I am not

I hate how you have friends that genuinely care about you

I hate how she loves you more than me

I hate how you are allowed to hang out with your friends while I am questioned

I hate how you can run away from all this problems

And I simply hate the fact that I can't hate you.

-Confessions and tears-

You would never believe it if I told you that I stayed in love for 10 years with the same guy but he never knew I existed, well literally. He was a friend of my sister and I easily had a crush on him. A massive one indeed. I was 8 years old when I began to like him and the love grew from time to time. I used to think that he was the one I would spend my life with. Sounds stupid right? It did not back then.

I do not know why but I always thought of him as mine. Yes, I loved him. I am not ashamed of that. He never knew I liked him. But, I was crazy of him. There came a time in my life last year where I finally came to terms that he is not the only guy out there. Hell, he doesn’t even speak to me! But, by that time, I had already kept him so close in my heart that I could not let my feelings go. I know it sounds ridiculous but it was genuinely hard for me. Hence, this week I wrote a confession letter that I bawled over(I know im such a cry baby!), that made me feel better. I now feel as though I can conquer the world. Thank you for keeping my heart safe for so long, but it is time that I had it back. Goodbye forever Mr.L.

-I am not me-

What the hell am I doing?? I feel so stupid! I would love to be there for you but seriously, I know I will get in trouble if I do so. Does that make me a hypocrite? I can only wonder!

-Of colourful flags, cramped spaces, and CONTENTMENT-

"Human graphic for the ASEAN Schools Games????Seriously dude! What the hell are you saying???!"

That was my initial reaction towards my friend when he proudly announced to us that we were to take part along with the juniors to form human graphics for the opening ceremony of the 2nd ASEAN Schools Games.

I was very upset because I knew that we had had our share of such participation in the 1st and 2nd semester, that we should be left alone now. Oh, come on! It's the juniors turn! Not us seniors!

However, little did I know that amidst all the complaining done on my part, I truly enjoyed the three days we spent rehearsing and finally performing! I felt blessed to have contributed something for my nation. And of course, not to forget, I was in the same stadium as our beloved Deputy Prime Minister! Now, that's something I am insanely proud of!

PS: Don't tell anyone! Shhh...I have a massive crush on Juara, the mascot! Oh, he is just too cute!! Shhh....

-People and personalities-

Isn’t it miraculous to think that everyone is just so darn different from one another? We have billions of people in this world and each and every one of them has their own characteristics. So, what happens when personality clashes? This week I’m compelled to write about such differing personalities. Let’s not go too far. Take a look around you. Right here in IPBA. Aren’t there people that you cannot get along with just because they are so much different than you? This week I met someone who is experiencing such a personality clash.

So, what do you do when you find that you simply cannot get along with someone? I’ll walk away. There is no point in giving in too much for a friendship to work if it means that you will hurt yourself at the end. I believe that we only get to live this life once. And we should make it count. Do something because you want to do it, not because someone asks you, or forces you too. Life is circular. One moment you are up and another you are down. Always remember that, sooner or later everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to decide who is worth going through the pain for.

Promises and more promises

Many times in life you will find yourself standing alone, with no one to hear you out. Your heart screams for relieve of this pain that God has decided to put on you. You find your soul crippled and you yearn for an answer. You know how people tell you, life goes on? It may go on but it doesn't change. Nothing changes. Oh, how I wish we had a peaceful life.Everyday I wake up with fear that it might be my last, or yours. I know I won't be able to live if I don't have you by my side. Just promise me God, that somehow all this will workout. Promises and more promises.